


5 Times Draco Went To Chemistry And 1 He Didn't

by Ardo_dai



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Dorms, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hogwarts Seventh Year, How Do I Tag, I want to make draco a fluffy ball and cuddle him, M/M, Mixed dorms, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Other, Pining Draco Malfoy, Pining Harry Potter, Potions Class, after the war, ahhh, hagrid is that you?, he's so broken, i want to slap them both, m/m - Freeform, they're so stupid, what are tags even
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2018-10-25 14:57:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10766601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ardo_dai/pseuds/Ardo_dai
Summary: He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it in the least. Why in the Earth, of all the people who could have been his roommate, had he have to get sorted with Potter? Really, with all the people who actually wanted to be his roommate, why had he got the poxbearer, motherswiner, loosegob, airknob Potter?





	1. The Horror

**Author's Note:**

> He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it in the least. Why in the Earth, of all the people who could have been his roommate, had he have to get sorted with Potter? Really, with all the people who actually wanted to be his roommate, why had he got the poxbearer, motherswiner, loosegob, airknob Potter?

He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it in the least. Why in the Earth, of all the people who could have been his potions partner, had he have to get sorted with Potter? Really, with all the people who actually _wanted_ to be his partner, why had he got the poxbearer, motherswiner, loosegob, airknob Potter?

Wasn’t it enough that he had been stuck in Hogwarts after the war because his dad was exiled in France and his mother had chosen to go with him? Leaving him all on his own in stupid Hogwarts, where the other students were always ignoring him. Not that it bothered him at all. He would be rather ignored than mocked or worse, as it had been just a few days back, when a group of Gryffindors found him distracted in one of the gardens and decided they’d like to have a little fun with him. _On_ him. However, it would have been less depressive if he had stayed with his own house’s students. He would have been understood. Wanted. Useful. What if the little ones did get harassed as he was? Who was going to fend for them? Nobody, that’s it. He had been the only one who cared about how they were feeling when the war started and the other kids started to call names at the first years Slytherins. And now all his work was destroyed. The littluns would not have a friend in their new dorms and they probably wouldn’t be able to talk to their peers without getting accused of plotting to get a new dark mage to power. They wouldn’t make any friends until at least another month or two, if they kept trying. They had to. Draco wouldn’t let them give up. Because if there could be one good thing to get out of this horrible mess it would be that there weren’t house prejudices anymore. He wanted to see that. Or at least, if he couldn’t be a part of it, hear about it from the first years. That they had friends. That they had created new families. That they had people who loved them. That they could feel the world was a place worth to live for. To fight and die for.

But now Draco had more important (more urgent) things to think of. Like the airhead heading for the empty chair at his side. An airhead with hair as a raven wing and eyes as the magic that thrived in the old common room of Slytherin. Eyes that now, by the way, couldn’t conceal completely their disgust and hate, even though the glasses that partially hide them. _“That’s good, Potter. Hate me. Make so despicable in your mind that you repudiate me; that you recoil with the slightest sight of me. That you wouldn’t want me to be near you, to consume the same air as you, nevertheless to touch you”._ Draco scowled at Harry’s way. Harry just threw him an exhausted look. He didn’t look like he had got a lot of sleep these past days. Not that anyone could, after all the atrocities they had witnessed the week before this. The day when he had chosen his loyalties. When he had lost so many friends and so much of his innocence. The day when the end began.

After that hideous duel between Potter and He Who Shall Not Be Named, after the teachers had counted the dead and the wounded, the students that had survived were told to sleep in the Great Hall with promises that they would have rooms soon. A week had passed and they had gone to regular classes, if there was still such a thing. They didn’t have got dorms yet and the former Slytherins were being harassed day and night, accused of evilness, got beaten, scared to death with death threats murmured to their ears at night, received in howlers at the morning (how did the owls act as if nothing had happened?), their properties destroyed. The first and second years were the most susceptible to these shenanigans, sometimes even breaking into tears at the breakfast when they received an anonymous letter fearing, not without reason, that this time it would be them the mocked, the abused, the tortured one.

But this was the day. The D-day, as Draco called it in his mind. The day when they would assign each student a dorm and, with it, a roommate. Draco hoped he wouldn’t be assigned with a Gryffindor or, if he was being extra wishful, to be assigned with anyone at all. _“Yeah”_ he thought as he slide awkwardly to make room to fucking Potter, _“that would be just perfect. The teachers casting me aside because they don’t want any decent student to live with Dumbledore’s murderer. Not that I actually killed him.”_ Usually, however, Draco would stick to reality and accept that he would be stuck with someone who probably feared or despised him for the rest of the year. If he made it to the graduation. Anyway, Draco wished that he got paired with a Hufflepuff, that way it would be easy to get by.

“I don’t mind being your partner.”

“What?” Draco just realized he must have been daydreaming in potions or else he would have known what was Potter talking about. _Fucking Potter_ , he reminded himself.

“I said” Potter uttered with an exasperated look, “that I don’t mind being your partner.”

“Well,” Draco spat, “you should, because I _do_ mind being partners with a block like you.”

“Why?”

“Seriously, Potter?” _Because I don’t want to see what I can’t have._ “Because I know you suck at potions and if you think you can drag me with you to the bottom you got to be even more stupid than I thought.”

“No, I mean…” Harry lifted his hand to his closed eyes and hold his nose bridge, as if trying to calm a headache. _He has a fucking Greek profile_. “Why can’t we start again?”

“Because,” Draco said slowly, like he was explaining magic to a toddler “you are the fucking Chosen One, you killed He Who Shall Not Be Named and you are the motherswiner who I had been trying to severely damage since our first year.”

“But” Harry said, sounding almost ( _almost_ ) pleading, “Is there no chance? Not even a tiny, tiny chance?”

And then, because Draco was a swining weak coward, he whispered “Okay.” _That, my stupid friend, is one of the worst ideas ever,_ Draco scolded himself as he saw how Potter’s eyes lit up with his answer. _Leave it to fucking Potter to look as happy as a kid with his first broom just with an answer. I’m not going to live through this. My heart won’t be able to bear it and it will stop beating. And I’ll be fucking ok with it because I deserve it like the stupid piece of trash I am._

“…you mind?” _Shit, not again. Really, brain? Are you trying to make me more stupid than I am or you just want to have a little fun?”_

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, I have the head on the clouds. What were you saying?” _Shit._ The light in Potter’s eyes died a little.

“Oh, um, y’know, I was just wondering if you would mind helping me with potions since, as you already said, I’m a disaster in this class.” _Yeah, I would mind, very much actually. Do I have to spell it for you? I DON’T WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU BECAUSE IT HURTS._ Draco was starting to panic. Not only did he get Potter as partner but he also wanted to share quality time with him?

“Ah, well, I don’t know…” The look in Harry’s eyes was definitively painful. Like he was betraying him. Which he wasn’t. Absolutely. “Why don’t we wait to see who we get as roommate and then we talk about it?”

“Yeah, that’s fine, that’s a great idea!” (Fucking) Potter was actually fucking bouncing in his sit.

 

Draco was struggling to decide what he was going to wear on the D-ceremony when it dawned on him that people probably wouldn’t thought of how was he going. Or if he was going at all. _I shouldn’t go._ He sat on the couch. _But what if I actually get fixed with someone? How would I know with whom? Why can’t the teachers put lists and that is that? Stupid melodrama._ Draco decided he would go, but as if it meant nothing to him who he got as roommate.

As he strode through the empty hallways he tried to maintain his anxiety under control, to avoid looking like prey. When he reached the Great Hall he discovered a human form leaning on the doorframe. He automatically put up his shields and walls, only to drop them as he recognized the figure as fucking Potter. _You shouldn’t let yourself relax around him. I_ know. _Well, then, do something. Like what? I don’t know, it’s your body._ Our _body, stupid._ He got to the door and stopped, watching Potter with what he hoped was an inquisitive stare rather than a terrified glance.

“Well?”

“I thought you wouldn’t come so I decided I’d search you if you didn’t.” _Hurts._ “But you came, even if it’s late, so let’s go.”

“But why would you wait me?” Draco cursed his voice as it broke with the last word.

“I told you, didn’t I? We’re friends now.”

Draco looked at his face, so open and sincere as he said that, and felt how tears swelled up his eyes. He shook his head half in disbelief, half in an attempt to clear his eyes.

“Let’s go.”

When people seated at last and Professor McGonagall announced how the thing was going to be, it seemed to be the Sorting Ceremony all over again. As he watched his fellow Slytherins sent with people, Draco started to hold his breath unconsciously. Only when Potter touched his shoulder he let out a shaky breath, wondering why had Harry just did that. As it seemed, the only ones happy with this new forced mixed life were the Hufflepuffs, as always cheering to everyone who got claimed.

First went the first years. Then the second years and so on. When Professor McGonagall got to the sixth years Draco was already feeling more than queasy. When she called Hannah Abbot to the front and paired her with Parvati Patil, he was more than ready to throw up right there and then. The only thing that anchored him to the ground was Harry’s hand, which he hadn’t taken back after he touched him the second time, when they called the third years. _Why hadn’t he retreated?_

Professor McGonagall was calling the letter G, and the know-it-all Granger was paired with Padma Patil, and they were already sat together chatting about facts that only they cared about and Draco couldn’t breathe and there were so much less students than in the Sorting Ceremony and he knew why and he was going to get sick if he wasn’t already and Professor McGonagall was already calling the letter J and it was a relief because that meant he had another letter yet but then she was calling fucking Macmillan and why the fuck hadn’t survived any students with last names with letter K or L and then she was calling him and that meant he actually had a roommate and he wanted to go to the front but he couldn’t because he was frozen with panic and then there it was, Harry was holding his hand squeezing it and telling him to go and that it would be fine and his feet moved on their own an then he was in the front confronting the students’ faces filled with hate and despise and hearing them mutter about him and everything was so much, too much and then Professor McGonagall said the name of his new roommate and then there was silence because no one could believe it and even the Hufflepuffs couldn’t cheer this time when Harry walked slowly to the front and smiled at him and said in a low voice: “I’m glad it was you, aren’t you glad too?” And he was but he couldn’t say he couldn’t speak and he just wished they were away far far away with no one near so he could tell Harry how relieved and thankful he was for this but also he wanted to go to the bathroom to throw up and that’s what he did, he jumped in a crazy sprint toward the hall door trying to beat the nausea to the restroom, barely making it.

When Draco finished turning his stomach inside out and there was no more puke in him at least for the next five years he washed his face and rinsed his mouth. As he peered into the mirror he found his pale face returning the glare with a stupid, half crazed grin in his mouth. He was happy, if he had to be honest. But he also was worried as fuck. How was he supposed to live through this without either killing himself or Harry or worse, embarrass himself while making Harry hate him? _That was your original idea, remember? To make him hate you._ But he couldn’t. No, he couldn’t, not after what he had told him in the Great Hall, those stupid little words that made him have the hope he shouldn’t have. But he had. Maybe the only thing he could do was play along the Destiny, bid whatever orders it sent his way. So Destiny gave him a chance. Well, he would take it. For the better or the worse.

_And now what?_ He hadn’t heard the room they were assigned. _What will I do? Do I spend the night here? Go to the Hall and sleep there? Ask Professor McGonagall? Where’s fucking Potter when I need him? Not that way, stupid. Oh, yes, that way. Nope. Not that way. Then stop thinking about it. Done. Liar. Whatever._ Draco gazed through a crack between the door and the frame into the hallway. Nobody. He took a step forward and halted when he heard _his_ voice.

“I was wondering when would you go out” Harry smirked at Draco in a way that made his knees wobble and remember his last conversation with himself. _That way._

Draco tried a little smile that must have turned out disastrous by the look in Harry’s face.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No problem… Are you ok?”

“Yeah… you know where our room is?”

Harry looked squeamish.

“Um, yes, about that….”

“What?”

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but it’s in the first floor, near the greenhouses exit.”

“It’s okay for me.” _As long as you’re there. Shut up. Why? You were thinking the same. Just. Shut up._ “Could you show me?”

“Sure, let’s go.”

As they walk away from the bathroom, Draco silently thanked Harry for not mentioning any of his manic attitudes. Instead, he talked about school, his horrible grades in most classes and his interest in becoming an auror when he got out of school. When they reached the exits of the greenhouses Draco had to admit to himself he was having fun. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad. After all, it was fucking Potter, loved by all. He could do this.

Harry reached towards a rug in the wall, and tickled an elf in it. The elf let out a hushed laugh and let them in to one of the most beautiful rooms he had ever been into.

The moonlight shone through the silky lace curtains, agitated by the early autumn breeze. There was a hearth facing the enormous windows and two seats that looked really comfortable by it. Draco advanced toward the centre of the room, slowly taking in his surroundings. It was beautiful, stunning even. There were draperies hanging from the walls, representing pretty scenes of beauty elves like the one who told about faerie tales, frolicking and dancing in the prairie. Between a passage showing a circle of faeries dancing around a fire that seemed alive and another that showed some cute little elven children listening to a storyteller, there was a staircase. Even if he wanted to stay all night up and slowly inspect every single thing in this lovely room, he knew he had to go to sleep. He turned to face Harry and found him watching him intently, his face semi hidden in the shadows. He looked like one of those Fae princes in the stories, who came to steal some pretty maiden’s heart without a second glance.

“I’m gonna go to sleep.” He announced.

Harry seemed to wake from some distant dream.

“Yeah, me too.”

They climbed the stairs in silence, only the sound of their breath interrupting the calmness of the night. As they reached the bedroom Draco saw two beds with curtains and raced to one, flopping into them without bothering to cover himself as he fell asleep at the moment his head touched the pillow. Harry threw a blanket over him, smiling to himself as he saw his new roommate’s face relax in his sleep.

_What am I going to do?_


	2. {INTERLUDE I: The First Night}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHERE IS THE ANGST??????  
> HERE IS THE ANGST!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys... sorry for not posting on time, it's a hard time right now as it is my last month of school and I have to work on a lot of stuff.... this isn't a true update but I promise it was going to be part of it... this happens the first night in their new room. Enjoy!  
> Also...  
> WHERE IS THE ANGST??????  
> HERE IS THE ANGST!!!!!!!!

Draco woke up in the darkness. He couldn’t see anything, feel anything. He could only smell the stink of rottenness that was caused by humidity held sealed too much time. Draco, despite the blindness and the numbness that seized his body, knew where he was. The dungeons of the Malfoy Manor, so familiar he could feel the bars of the gate in front of him without even touching them. Familiar, yes. He could go with familiar, but never comfortable in there. He had gotten this familiar to the cells in the eternal periods he had spent down here, when his Master, his aunt or even his Father sent him in punishment for neglecting an order delivered to him. He didn’t disobey their orders often, though. However, when he did, the ones in his charge usually fared a worse destiny than it had been ordered before, just to make him suffer. He knew. Oh, his mother had tried to hide it from him, but he knew. He knew he had the fault of many deaths and the Dead would accompany him to the grave. And Draco was ok with that. He had accepted it, the pain of guilt threatening to overwhelm him every moment of his day. And night. But what was he doing here? He dreamed of dead people, (it was normal by now, almost like greeting old friends every night) but this? He had only dreamt of something alike once, and he trembled only to the memory of it. Could this be the same? He wished he could wake, that Harry woke him, that anyone saved him from the horrors to come…

The lock on the barred door clanked as it opened from the outside.

“Hello, aunt Bella.” His voice had sounded more cracked than he had expected. “Has my Master summoned me yet?”

“Shut your gob, Draco.” His aunt had a vicious glint in her eyes. “The Dark Lord has his plans and it is futile for a brat like you to try to understand His designs. Pull yourself up and clean as best as you can, He indeed has called you to His presence. Behave.”

Draco raised to his feet slowly like he was trying to taunt his aunt hurry. He dusted off his suit in a fluid motion, almost like he was caressing it. When his suit had passed his scrutiny satisfactorily he finger-combed his hair with pianist hands, long and delicate but with a hint of strength in them. _How long have I been in here?_ Draco discreetly smelled his armpit until he noticed his aunt’s eyes were on him. _It’s a dream after all, I shouldn’t care about my appearance so much, it’s not like I’m gonna see anyone real._

Draco heard their steps resonating along the empty corridors as he and his aunt hurried to the dining hall of the Malfoy Manor, where He Who Shall Not Be Named had established his headquarters.

 _Fuck. Fuck you, “aunt”._ There were still three meters until the door. _Fuck this war and fuck the family pride. Fuck He Who Shall Not Be Named._ Two meters. _Fuck everything and everyone. I don’t want to be part of this._ One meter. _All I wanted was to keep living a normal (ha) life in Hogwarts._ Two steps more. Draco knew he had to erase any thought away of his mind or the Dark Lord would be able to see it. _Blank, blank, blank… The stupid kitten plates that stupid woman kept in her office their fifth year at Hogwarts…_

“Come, Draco.” His Master bid him to move forward with no more than that. The man ( _Is he even a man?_ ) pronounced those two words effortlessly, soft honey in a fly trap. He was as dangerous as he seemed. _More._

Draco tried to ignore the whimpers in the corner of the room, a human suffering and nothing he could do to help. _Oh, yes,_ Draco thought, _this is as bad as I remembered._

“What can I do for you?” Draco bowed slightly as he answered his Master.

“You see, my Draco, I have found something I believe you will actually like.” The Dark Lord raised from his throne and started pacing in front of it. “Since you are always complaining about _Potter_ ” He spat the name as if it was something venomous. “I should think you would like to have a little fun with him.” The Dark Lord stopped dead in front of Draco, no more than two feet apart. He stared at him with those inhuman eyes and Draco knew his mind was being examined. _Blank. Blank._

“Should I assume that you have found the Chosen One?” Draco tried to ask this as indifferent as he could while he was fretting in the inside. Had his Master really found him? What was all this about? What did he mean by _fun_? _Of course,_ he thought, _I know this. All I have to do is wait until I wake… But when will that happen? Soon, I hope._ Even though he told himself this, Draco couldn’t control his sweat glandes, as he knew what the nightmare had in store for him.

“Certainly, I have found him.” Even though he knew that was going to be the answer, Draco’s heart plummeted to the abyss. “And now I want you to practice your Crucio and Imperio on him since I have noted you seem to be a little weary on their use.” With a slash of his wand the Dark Lord commanded the whimpering mess from the corner of the room to between him and Draco. He could barely recognize the lightning scar in what seemed to be a forehead.

Draco smoothed his face into a mask, covering the emotions that attempted to spill if he looked long enough at the lump at his feet.

“With all due respect, why don’t you just kill him?” Draco assumed the role of bratty heir to the maximum length he could, risking not only his family’s life and him self’s but also Harry’s. “Wouldn’t be better for your plans to have him dead? Every second he is still alive is a threat for the cause.”

Draco’s master narrowed his eyes at him, as if trying to decipher his deepest thoughts. “It is true that maintaining him alive can become a nuisance in the future, but I haven’t seen your curses in a while.” He waited for Draco to answer. “Are you refusing?” His master’s voice was as cold and calm as ice, just waiting for him to make a mistake to brake under his feet and drag him to the bottomless darkness.

Draco took out his wand and pointed to the mass of flesh on the floor. If he ignored the fact that it was human ( _that it was Harry Fucking Potter, for god’s sake_ ) long enough it would be ok. It would be like practicing with a spider or a rat. _Not human._

He looked as if in a dream ( _which it is, actually_ ) how he levelled his wand and in no more than a whisper pronounced:

“Crucio.”

The bulk in the floor writhed in agony but Draco kept his wand steady.

“Imperio.”

Draco instructed the mass to move a foot, two feet.

“Crucio.”

The tears started streaming down his cheeks as the mass in the floor struggled to stop the pain.

 

At this point Draco didn’t care at all about his master’s skills in Legillimens, he only wanted to stop hurting (everyone else and himself). If he had cared to look at the Dark Lord, he would have seen curiosity in his gaze.

“Enough.”

“ _BANG!!!_ ”

Between the disturbance and the command, Draco pointed his wand down. As he turned to look to the cause of the uproar, his body was seized by a curse. A brown head and a ginger head stormed through the opening in the window casting spells at anything moving. The Dark Lord had fled when he saw the pair accompanied by a squad of aurors, leaving his minions behind to clean his mess. Draco couldn’t move a muscle as he saw his father and mother being arrested and their wands snatched from their hands. He couldn’t do anything to stop the tears from keep rolling down his face as Potter’s friends started throwing healing spells at Harry’s wounds. _The wounds I just made_. As the lump started looking more and more human, Draco felt the pain of a new amount of guilt adding to his burden. When it finally resembled Potter (a battered, pathetic echo of Potter), it turned his gaze at him.

The same eyes that he had seen filled with pain just minutes ago now were full of a hatred more intense than anything Draco had seen or felt never. If he could, he would have sagged to his knees right there and then, as he realized his wish had been granted: Harry would never look at him as anything but a foe and with nothing in those emerald eyes but the fire of loath.

 

When Draco woke up gasping desperately for air he didn’t recognize where he was. After a few moments of panic he remembered: His dorm. His _new_ dorm… With Harry sleeping in the bed beside him.

Except.

Harry was not sleeping.

When Draco turned to face Harry’s bed he met an intense green gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok that's it. I cried blood tears when writing this and my beta wanted to kill me but here is it: the angst you people were waiting for.


	3. Second Class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh...... Guys, sorry for not posting......   
> I've been very busy but in compensation this is a very long chapter and it has just a teeny tiny bit of angst so I hope you enjoy it! Also I may or may not be posting more frecuently since I graduated and now I have more free time! Enjoy!

Between the shock of being casted with Potter, his undignified escape from the Great Hall and the wondrous nightmare he had had last night, Draco wasn’t so happy when he woke to the banging Harry made in his morning ritual.

_For fuck’s sake, he’s like a cow in the moor, crumbling all innocent flowers in his path._

Draco moaned and buried his face deeper in his pillow. Harry, as if summoned by a spell, poked his head out of the bathroom.

“Draco?”

“No.” Draco was throwing a fit in his bed and he didn’t care at all, he hadn’t had enough sleep and that always made him grumpy as hell. This he explained to Harry, though with a more colourful language.

“Come on, you’ll feel better after a nice warm bath.” _Only if you help._ Draco mentally bashed his horny self against any solid surface he could find in his mind. To this point, the sturdy desk ( _it looks like oak_ ) by the corner had proved pretty hard against his mind.

“But I don’t want to,” Draco whinnied as he unwillingly sat. He discovered that, to his disappointment, he still had his robes on, crumpled by a night of restless sleep. “If I do, I’ll melt into the water and disappear.”

“Well, well, well, who would have thought that the heir of the mighty house of Malfoy was such a cry baby?” Harry taunted Draco from the bathroom.

_I’m not a cry baby. I just don’t want to get up right now. Or never. It has an explanation, actually. I need a day of mental health. And I want it now. Before I fuck this up._

“Potter.” Draco called Harry, not daring to call him by his name just yet.

“Humm?” Harry was brushing his teeth and came to check his hair (which, if Draco was asked, was as messy as always and Harry had no way of solving it) in the drawer mirror.

“Can we stay here today?” Draco hoped that didn’t sound too much like begging. He knew he hadn’t succeeded by the look in Harry’s face, so he just keep talking, waiting for Harry to reject him. “You know, we could arrange our things and stuff and decorate and I don’t know, maybe I can help a little with your tower of homework and by the way why don’t you organize your time better, you’re such a mess…” Draco covered his mouth in an attempt of retrieving those last words he had let out, afraid he had angered Harry.

“Ok, ok, stop babbling, I can’t understand what you say if you talk that fast.” Harry held his nose bridge in a gesture so familiar to Draco that he could see it in his dreams. _Which has happened,_ whispered that stupid part of him which was crazy for Potter. _Shut up,_ shouted the rational part. _Shut up! Why? You know it’s true… That doesn’t mean anything. Yes it does. No. Yes. Aggghhhhh, I’m so done with you._ “So,” Harry said slowly, as if trying to unscramble what Draco had said, “you want us to stay here today?” Draco’s heart caught in the way Harry said _us_. _Not that he said it in any special way. It’s just that it sounds so_ intimate.

Harry was staring at him with those green lights he had for fucking eyes and Draco realized he was waiting for an answer. He nodded, unable to look away from the pools of liquid emerald that were Harry’s eyes.

“And you’re offering to help with my homework.” He said it not like an answer but as a statement. Draco nodded again, suddenly aware that Harry had nothing but his boxers on and that this made him desperately want a cold shower, even though that meant getting out of bed and walking by fucking Potter in his state, which was pretty unthinkable at the moment.

“With all I would like to take the offer, Draco” _Draco. Does that mean I get to call him Harry? I don’t think I can, however._ Harry put on his pants, banning Draco from the previous glorious sight. “I don’t think that’s wise. The teachers said yesterday that we’ll have today’s afternoon to get installed in our new dorms and I can’t lose any more potion classes. Sorry, though.” Harry was now securing his tie to his shirt with a charm against the wild fall wind.

“No, it’s nothing,” Draco muttered as he flopped back on his bed, “just give me five more minutes.”

“Ok, I’ll be in the other room then, don’t be late.”

After Harry vanished from his sight, Draco sprang to the shower, realizing it would take a while to calm himself. He threw a yearning look to the hot bath Harry had prepared him, knowing he would have to waste it. He opened the faucet of the shower and yelped when the icy water hit him. After what he thought was a very long time and hoping Harry had tired of waiting him and gone to the Great Hall to eat, Draco grabbed a towel from the shelf and wrapped himself with it. Entering to the room he noticed that his clothes and Harry’s were mixed in the wardrobe. As he took out his shirt he was struck by the strong scent of Harry, a mix of woods and wind and broom polisher. Draco couldn’t resist the temptation and buried his face in the closest shirt that smelled so much like Harry, relishing in the sensation the fragrance and the smoothness of the cloth gave to his skin. Before he knew, Draco was smiling like a fool, inhaling deeply the aroma of Harry in an attempt to make the day less terrifying. When he realized what he was doing, Draco stopped abruptly, tearing his clothes from the hangers and angrily tossing them into his bed. After that, he dressed rapidly, with brisk movements that accompanied him to the next room, where he stopped his tracks when he saw Harry asleep on a chair, his face in his hand as if he was just deeply thinking.

Draco studied him for a few seconds, trying to take in as much details as possible and ending his inspection as he quietly muttered an “I guess you didn’t sleep so well either.” Draco extended a hand toward Harry and shook his shoulder slightly. Harry flinched at the touch before he was fully awake and saw where he was.

“I’m sorry, I said I was going to wait you and now you find me asleep.” Draco’s heart soared as he saw the brightest of smiles illuminate sleepy Harry’s face with a happiness so pure and sincere he thought extinguished in this world. _You shouldn’t smile at me like that. You wouldn’t, not if you knew what I’ve done, what I am._

“Let’s go.” And Draco smiled the smallest of the smiles, but also the most shy of them.

While making their way to the Great Hall Draco wondered how it was possible for Harry to act as if nothing had happened, like they were just two normal teenagers meeting for the first time. At least, that was what he thought until they reached the doors of the Hall, because then his knees went wobbly and he couldn’t breathe and all he could thought of were ways of escaping what was to come, the enter to the Hall full of students, all whispering, talking about the latest news of the Boy Who Lived and how he was now stuck with the Death Eater.

Draco froze at the yet closed doors of the Hall, thinking of all the possibilities of what lay next. _I’ll go in with Potter and everyone will hate me. Highly possible. I’ll go in with Potter and everyone will love me. Very hard to believe. I’ll run now and Potter will go in alone and everyone will hate me for abandoning him. Possible. I’ll run now and Potter will go in alone and no one will think about me. Highly possible. I’ll somehow convince Potter to go with me and eat somewhere else and everyone will think I murdered him. Very highly possible. Ok, I think I’ll skip breakfast. But what about lunch? And dinner? You can’t just skip all the meals until graduation.  Watch me. You’ll die._ We _’ll die. Well, at least then they would be happy. You can’t. You already skipped what, three meals in the last four days? You’re just a sack of bones. You need food. Then I’ll convince someone to bring me food, ok? Just let me be._

“Malfoy? Malfoy? Draco?” Harry was waving his hand in front of Draco’s face, worried after a minute without response. Draco seemed to snap back to reality when Harry called him by his name.

“Are you ok?”

“I can’t go in there.” Draco whispered, his words little more than a breath as he caressed the old wood of the doors. His face was even paler than his already ashen tone, provided by the lack of sleep. “I can’t.”

Harry watched intently Draco’s livid face, searching for something even though he couldn’t say what he was looking for. He gently raised his hand to take the other boy’s hand and started to rub circles in it with his thumb. Harry didn’t really know what he was doing but he figured if he got the other boy to relax then it would be ok. Draco tore his gaze from the doors slowly, just to let it land on their intertwined hands and specially Harry’s thumb, as if he didn’t understand what it was doing there. Gradually, the blank stare he had in his eyes disappeared, replaced by concern. _Not again. Why do I keep doing this? I can’t let them know how broken I am. Especially not Potter. You’ve become too friendly with him, let him too close to you. Wait. Why is fucking Potter rubbing my fucking hand?_ Draco snatched his hand from Harry’s as if this was on fire and with an expression of horror in his features, though he tried to soften his face when he saw Harry’s hurt look. _I can’t do this. Definitively. I’m going to die before a month. I won’t be able to endure this every second of the day and night. Can someone put me out of my misery?_

Draco started to stammer an apology but Harry opened the doors and entered the Great Hall with a hard stare in his eyes, closing the doors behind him. Draco fell to his knees, clutching the fabric of his tunic where his heart hurt as it never had. He felt tears rising to his stinging eyes and knew he should not cry in the hallway, it would make him an easy target, but couldn’t bring himself to move as he had to support his weight with his other hand on the floor because _it hurts so much. Well, now you’ve made it. He hates us, that’s what you wanted didn’t you? No! Yes. But it hurts. Anyway he wouldn’t have wanted us and you know it, don’t you? No one would want us._

As Draco fought to breathe he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a voice asking him if he was ok. He gasped for air and his ears cleared.

“---serious, I turn a second and you’re having an attack?” _No. Not him again. Why is he here? Shouldn’t he be in the Hall enjoying a healthy breakfast with his friends?_ Draco choked in an attempt to swallow the tears before Harry saw them but failed as he helped him on his feet.

He was examining the dark haired boy trying to figure why was he there when he noticed the food in his pockets and under his arm.

“What is all that?” Draco pointed at the food.

“Really Malfoy? I thought you knew how food looked like. Although with how are you looking I guess you could have forgotten.” Draco did note how he was once again Malfoy instead of Draco. He also noted the mischievous smirk in fucking Potter’s face.

“Well then, may I ask why do you have food out of the Great Hall?”

Harry’s eyes darkened before he set his jaw in what Draco knew was a gesture of determination and answered.

“I didn’t want to eat indoors today.”

They were seated by the ancient tree by the lake, setting the food Harry had smuggled out the Great Hall in Draco’s cape after they found the perfect spot to eat. Autumn painted Hogwarts landscape with shades of orange and brown, the wind sweeping the leaves the trees let go. There was just the right amount of sun to be comfortable, not too much to start sweating but not too little to freeze with the morning breeze. _It feels like the ice around me is melting,_ Draco thought as his numb ears perceived the nice warmth and he faced the morning sun with eyes closed.

When he opened his eyes again and turned to see his companion he found Harry watching him with curiosity and, if his eyes and his heart didn’t deceive him, something that could be mistaken with kindness, or even affection.

“Well, let’s eat.” Draco spoke, breaking the spell that their eyes had created between them as he casted an incantation in the food to heat it again as it had become cold with the wind.

And he ate. With Harry. _What would they say now, I wonder? The Death Eater and the Chosen One eating together like they were friends. Ha. But you two_ are _friends, remember? I don’t think so. He said it, but I have no reason to believe him. Really? After he has brought you back from your attacks twice now? And look, he brought us food! The food is good! Yes, it is good, but what if he is just playing with me? I can’t let myself relax. Even if it’s so tiring, I can’t, because then he will see my cracks and use them against me when he wants to break me. So no, I wouldn’t say we’re “friends”. You’re bad. And bitter. Why can’t we be easy around him? He is nice. Shut up._

Draco ate a roll. And another. And one more. He was so hungry. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday’s breakfast, when he managed to get some food from the Hall and eat it in a bathroom. He ate like he would never eat again, just in case it was true and he had to skip more meals.

“Wow, Malfoy, leave me something.” Harry was eating more slowly, probably because he had been eating a little more continuously than Draco, though not _that_ much.

“Sorry, I’m hungry.” Draco had his mouth almost too stuffed to talk, but he managed to gulp and started to eat more calmly.

Which was bad, because he now had time to notice the little details of the moment, like how he and Potter were the only ones outdoors and the way the sun put flashes of blue in Potter’s dark hair or how if Potter looked at him the sun reflected in his eyes making them almost luminescent themselves and the way fucking Potter swallowed was so fucking sexy and he wanted to bite his Adam’s apple and how the way Potter nibbled at his food was such a turn on and he was having another attack but this one was different because it felt so good, so good to be here with Potter and just pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist, at least for a while.

When Draco had satiated his hunger for the first time in weeks he lay back in his cape, dreamily looking to the cloud passing rapidly on the sky. He sensed movement and turned to see Harry lying next to him with his arms under his head, absentmindedly watching the clouds. Draco blinked and returned to look at the sky until he heard Harry’s respiration changing its rhythm and he saw Harry had fallen asleep.

Time passed slowly and when Draco caught the sound of the bell marking the first call to class it seemed they had been in the gardens for centuries instead of a mere hour.

He stood up and then he reached down to shake Harry, saying more to himself than to him, “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, I’d like to see you sleep for the rest of my life but as you said we have to go to class.”

“I don’t want to,” whinnied Harry, startling Draco. “You can see me sleep the rest of your life if you want to because I want to sleep the rest of mine.”

“Come on, you were the one who made me get up in the morning, it’s your fault I have to go to classes today. Up.” Ordered Draco, embarrassed that Harry had heard his stupid little talk.

Harry groaned as he stood, his five feet eight looking less in contrast to Draco’s six feet two. He didn’t stop complaining all their way to Potion class, even after Draco threatened to leave him on his own with Potions work.

“For the umpteenth time, shut up!” Draco exclaimed pointlessly as they entered the dungeon that served as Potions workroom.

The heads of every soul in the room turned to see the focus of the ruckus and saw what they never had thought possible: the Chosen One whining as the Death Eater dragged him into the class, though the last showed a hint of a smile, which was soon replaced by a scowl when he noticed the attention he was the centre of.

“What are you lot of pigs looking at?”

As the class returned their attention to whatever they had been doing before the disturbance, Draco noticed the sad look in Harry’s face, though he chose to ignore it as they strolled to their table.

Draco sat at his usual spot at the far end of the table and pretended to rummage in his bag as he saw Weasley and Granger approaching their table. _Of course they’d come to check on Potter, after all, he didn’t show up to breakfast. I guess now he’ll tell them how I almost fainted in the hallway. Or not, probably he’ll save it for later when they can laugh of me in private. Whatever. I don’t care._

“Harry, where were you this morning? We didn’t see you at the Hall.” Exclaimed the redhead while throwing an untrusty look towards Draco. _I told you. Now wait for the rest._

“I didn’t feel like eating,” said Harry and, for the way Granger’s eyes flashed with worry, Draco knew this wasn’t the first time Harry pulled up something like this. _I should have noticed. How much has he been eating? I should have gone to the Great Hall if only to check on him. Well, there’s nothing I can do about that but I’ll see to it now._

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Granger sounded unsure about letting the topic slide and Draco couldn’t help but to finish his farce and straighten in his seat.

“Geez, Hermione, I told you, I’m fine.” Harry cut her exasperated, turning his attention to his Potions book in an obvious attempt to end the conversation and make them go away ( _ha. That’s the only reason Harry would be so interested in Potions_ ). Draco saw as Weasley shot Harry a filthy look as he guided a hurt-looking Granger to their own table.

Harry was going to say something to Draco when Professor Slughorn entered the classroom with a handful of parchment pieces and his usual folder of papers.

“Good morning class!” Slughorn greeted the student as cheery as always, a habit that unnerved Draco to the point of tensing his body at the moment he heard the salute. “Today we’ll have an interesting task to accomplish; please, dear lass, distribute this among your peers, thank you darling.” Slughorn spoke as the sheets of parchment circulated between the tables. Draco and Harry’s table, being the farther from the front, was the last to get the assignment. Draco scrutinized the recipe, mentally making a list of the ingredients they were going to need for the potion as he also noticed it was a very dangerous poison, though nothing hard to prepare.

“Now, who can tell me what kind of potion are we going to brew today?” He hadn’t even finished the question when Hermione’s hand was up. “Ah, Miss Granger, as helpful as always.” Slughorn indicated Granger to answer with a nod.

“It is a poison, named Licroatan because of its creator, a wizard who gave it to his own son to test it. It is known not only for the slow development of signs of illness but also for the peculiar symptoms it gives to the victim, who first notes a stomach ache which guides him to the wrong conclusion of a normal infection, though after three days of the poison making effect the victim will show a fast deterioration of nails and teeth and in this phase any treatment is useless and the victim will die in the fourth day of poisoning.”

“Excellent, Miss Granger. Five points for Gryffindor. Now, start working.”

Draco mentally rolled his eyes to the flagrant adulation the professor showed toward Granger as he walked to the ingredients cabinet. Not that she annoyed Draco usually, it was just that all the teachers tried to make patent their gratitude to the Golden Trio for saving the Wizarding World from the Dark Lord. Not that he complained. After all, if they hadn’t, he’d still be trapped at the Malfoy Manor, trembling at the thought of the day when they told him the Boy Who Lived had died and the Dark Lord was the undisputedly Master of the Wizarding World. But he didn’t appreciate the blatant adoration those three were subject of. In any case, they weren’t the only ones who fought for the fall of the Dark Lord. Dozens of people had lived and died for the freedom they sought. Former Gryffindors, Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, men and women, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters and friends, old people, young people, even children were part of the rebellion. But who were recognized for the last victory? This guys and their people, the Gryffindor’s house, as if they alone were fighting the treacherous, poisoned house of Slytherin and the evil that lurked within its members. Draco opened the doors of the cupboard and started piling the ingredients in his arms. He couldn’t locate the firebee honey. When he turned to ask someone where it was he noticed there was no one near. He spun just to discover that the rest of the class was a few feet behind, looking like they were waiting him to finish. He sneered at them before returning to his search.

_It isn’t fair. We are not bad. At least not more than everyone else. I don’t even think the majority of us is bad. Just a little part of us. But that’s the portion that they look at. They shouldn’t label us all because of them. It isn’t fair._ Draco found the honey and stashed them in one of his pockets. Then, just for fun, he walked right through the crowd and watched as they hurried away from his path.

When he reached his table he found Harry looking at him with the same expression of sadness he had sported at the beginning of the period.

“What?” Draco asked, with his walls already raised.

“Nothing.” Harry diverted his gaze to look at the instructions. “We’d better start on this.”

Draco let out a frustrated huff before preparing the cauldron and pouring the water needed to let it boil. Then he told Harry to finely cut the belladonna root under his meticulous glare while he grinded to dust the dried leaves of verbena. After all, with all he was the Chosen One and the source of all his pains, Harry couldn’t make a simple potion without fucking something up, and Draco wasn’t going to let him ruin his one good grade.

By the middle of the class, Longbottom had had been carried to the infirmary as his potion had suddenly seemed to break into boil and one of the bubbles splashed Neville as it exploded. Draco, seeing this, had double checked the fire beneath the cauldron, not wanting to hurt himself or worse Harry, considering the possibility that if Harry got injured while being his partner, everyone would think he made it on purpose.

_Maybe I should do it, at least just to get switched partners. Or even better, maybe Slughorn would let me work alone. Then I wouldn’t have to bother with playing nice. And I wouldn’t worry about fucking up a potion._ Draco watched Harry look blankly at the firebee honey and suddenly wanted to cry. _Why did I have to end with a block like him?_

They finished the poison successfully and in time, much to Draco’s relief and Harry’s amazement. Draco filled a bottle with a sample and labelled it with their names before taking it to the professor’s desk. _Well, apart from the gorgeous view I have the privilege to enjoy, the other advantage that working with fucking Potter has is that I don’t have to worry about getting my work messed with. That’s nice, for a change._ Remembering the times when his samples had been intriguingly broken or altered, Draco placed their work beside the others’. By the time he was back to their ( _wow, now is “our” table?_ ) table, Harry was done with cleaning the cauldron and sweeping the garbage to the can.

Draco picked up his bag and prepared to leave when Harry asked him if he could wait for him, as they had the next class together too. Draco was about to agree when Weasley interrupted.

“Harry, I have Charms too! Why don’t we go together? Hermione has it also and we can take a shortcut through the yard.”

_Well, that’s it,_ Draco thought, _I better leave now._ “I see you already have companions, Potter. See you later, I’m afraid.”

As Draco said it, he could see Harry’s disappointed look, as if he really had wanted to go with him. _But that’s impossible. Even though he said he wanted to be your friend? I told you that was a lie, I’m sure. Yeah, of course. Anyway, why are you so mean to him? He’s being friendly and you’re rejecting him. Agh, how many times do I have to tell you? If I let him too close he might use it against me. You’re paranoid. Maybe. Maybe I just have the truth._ Draco stomped through the hallways in the long way to Charms, as he knew Potter would be using the shortcut. It also gave him time to think how the hell was he going to make it through the rest of the year with Harry for roommate, Potions partner and pseudo friend, not to forget all the hate the rest of his classmates would be directing to him for that closeness to the fucking hero of the Wizarding World and being the Death Eater and being Draco Malfoy and in summary, for being the fucking prat he was, or at least he had been.

Draco drifted through the rest of his classes doing his best to ignore fucking Potter, though it turned out to be a hell of a work as he seemed to be trying his best to fill his I’m-being-friendly roll. He let out a sigh of relief as he listened to the bell marking the end of classes and the call to lunch.

Draco headed to his ( _our_ ) bedroom to change his uniform to something more comfortable, a plain shirt and jeans. As he took out the clothes from the wardrobe he inhaled the same aroma he had smelled that morning, a sad reminder of the cheerful star of day he had had, especially depressive compared to what the day had turned out to be.

Once he was done dressing and rehearsed his best I-don’t-fucking-care-motherfuckers face in front of the mirror, Draco was ready to go. _I can do this. It’s just a hall full of students, after all. Nothing extraordinaire. Just your typical day. Of course. They won’t bite you. At least not if you don’t show fear. I guess. Just walk._ As Draco walked to the Great Hall he started to regret the decision of eating lunch, either in the Great Hall or anywhere else at all.

He stood in the same place he had been that very morning, though now it seemed like years ago. Remembering that nice breakfast by the lake and the smile Harry had given him then, Draco braced himself and opened the doors of the Great Hall.

All the conversations suddenly died as Draco stepped into the Hall. Not only he was the Death Eater and had dared to present himself at lunch but also he was late to the meal. Draco stared at the mixed tables, not knowing where to sit anymore. There were Hufflepuffs everywhere and a noticeable quantity of Ravenclaws too, though most of the Gryffindors kept to themselves.

As he tried to decide fast enough to avoid looking like an idiot, Draco’s mask slowly started to crumble, the worry making him look younger, like a hare hunted by foxes. When he thought he was going to break and felt his eyes swelling up with tears, Draco heard the doors open behind him and noted a hand clutching his shoulder ( _I know only one person who touches me_ ). Draco turned and he saw the same eyes that had been watching him the night before, and all that day, eyes now filled with worry and a concern so sincere that Draco couldn’t contain the choked sob that fought to escape his lips ( _why? why is he here again? why is he looking at me like that?_ )

“Thanks for waiting for me, Malfoy” Harry said loud enough for anyone in a three-metres-radius range to hear.

Draco watched Harry speechlessly as he took him by the arm and guided him to a corner of a mostly empty table.

“I’m glad you decided to come, Draco.”

“Even I have to eat, Potter.” Draco saw, once again, how the sparkles in Harry’s eyes died as he noticed Draco’s stern tone. _I want to hurt him, hurt him so bad that he hates me. I don’t_ want _to, I need to. Before he thinks too much of any of this, before I think too much of any of this, before I end like a mess because of him._ “Anyway, Potter, where are your groupies?” _Hurt him, hurt him, hurt him._

“Fuck you, Malfoy, I thought we agreed to at least try to be friends.” Now Harry looked like he was really angry, and Draco was surprised that he had managed to make fucking Potter snap. _Now I only have to keep it that way, ensure that he doesn’t look at us never again. But I’m a coward right? I’ll never be strong enough to do what has to be done and, just this time, just with him, I’m glad I’m weak._

“I’m… I’m sorry, Potter. It’s just… It’s been a long day.” Draco stammered a whispered apology and saw, relieved, as Harry’s eyes softened.

“Yeah.”

_I can do this._

_I can be friends with the Boy Who Lived._

_I can be friends with fucking Potter._

_I can be friends with Harry._


	4. {INTERLUDE II: Settling In}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hoomans! this is more anst for your dark souls. and a little fluff. AAAnnnddd I post this almost in time, I'm getting better at due dates and stuff... tho I don't promise anything for the next chapter as it's being a hell to write.... oh yeah this is the second night.

Draco and Harry returned together to their room after lunch having, as Harry had said that morning, the entire afternoon to install properly in their new rooms. They didn’t say anything in their way to their room, they didn’t have to.

When they reached the tapestry that hid the entrance to their room Harry tickled the elf while explaining to Draco how to know which one to tickle. After that, they entered and Draco was surprised again to see the beauty of their common room. Under the evening sun it seemed like a completely different chamber and Draco started to figure it out, awed by the skill of the designers as they had been able to capture a season with no more than the natural illumination of the various times of the day and a little magic, making winter the night and the blue shades the moonlight casted, spring with the way the morning sun lightened the colours of the draperies, summer with the noon sun and its almost unbearable intensity and lastly, as he was currently watching, autumn with the soft evening sun and the way its orange glow made the painted trees look like they were shedding leaves.

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?” Draco said softly as he admired the room and the lace curtains moving with the autumn breeze.

“Yeah…” When Draco turned he discovered Harry looking at him with something darkening those clear eyes. He started a little but then he just sighed and broke the eye contact, instead advancing toward the bedroom.

“We should better get at it now, it probably will take us all the afternoon.” _What are you doing, Malfoy? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being a coward. But I don’t know what happened there. Well, don’t you want to know? No! What if it was just my stupid imagination making things? Better to ignore it and carry on._

Harry followed a stomping Draco to the room and watched for a minute how the boy with the hair as fair as the moon started taking his scarce possessions out of his trunk with brisk movements, throwing his school materials carelessly to the tidied bed.

“Hey.” Harry reached for Draco when he didn’t answer. “Hey. Stop.” He grasped Draco’s shoulder and forced him to face him, concern written in his features. “I don’t know what’s up but don’t worry about it.”

Draco let out a bitter chuckle. “Don’t worry about it, Potter? Seriously, that’s the best advice you can give? I can’t stop _thinking_ about it, less worrying about it.”

“Then it’s fine, think about it, but tell me how can I help. Please.” Harry was looking at him with those stray puppy eyes again and Draco just wanted to shout that he _can’t, he can’t because it hurts so much and I can’t tell you because it’s you, Harry, it’s always you._ And he was just staring at Harry trying to come up with an acceptable excuse when he remembered. _Are you going to tell him your problems? Just like that? What about all those talks about not letting your guard down and stuff? You’re pathetic. I know, but I also told you that I was going to take the chance didn’t I? That day, the D-day. If I was sorted with fucking Potter at least make it count. Ok, but what are we going to tell him? We can’t tell him about him. I know. I don’t know, probably I’ll just open the mouth and see what goes out. That’s not a good idea… oh no here we go…_

“It’s just. I don’t know. You saw it. In Potions. The People.” Harry’s eyes widened as he remembered and finally understood.

“Shit.” Draco averted his gaze as he let his hands drop the book he was holding. “I’m sorry, Draco, I should have noticed.” Harry’s brows furrowed in concentration as he tried to remember all the little evil things he had been seeing without paying attention, the sudden falls of students who casually were from Slytherin, the way their house hourglass didn’t seem to add up and the most recent incident in Potions that morning, as Draco had himself pointed.

“Why? I’m sure there are more important things that occupy you and I don’t really mind, actually. I mean, of course I don’t like it but at least it’s not so bad as at the beginning and the worse just happens to the upper graders and we can deal with it, we can. I just told you because you asked. You shouldn’t worry.” Draco finished his speech softly, with a hidden plead in his voice as he looked up at Harry’s eyes.

Harry noticed the pain in Draco’s eyes and with eyes dark from barely contained fury said “I won’t forget this, Draco. I may let it pass for now, but I’ll remember.” Then his eyes turned the green of the grass, of the hope Draco wanted so desperately to have. “Let’s get done with this, shall we?”

They worked on making their room comfortable for both of them as much as a pair as individually. They did not talk excessively, they chatted unconsciously about nothing rather than talk about their previous topic. Draco was actually really chatty once he relaxed, getting to the point of surprising Harry with bursts of laughter that he found incredibly beautiful and bright, like the sound of a tambourine in the hands of a skilled player or the way the children laugh while playing in the morning sun. Harry, on the other side, was more the silent type, finding both entertaining and relaxing the way Draco could go on and on talking about the things he loved, like flying in his broom or just, in his words, “being around someone I care about”. Draco noticed how, even though his features were normally inscrutable, Harry’s mouth would twitch and his eyes would sparkle when he found something Draco had said especially amusing.

They tidied their room for hours with no stop until suddenly Draco’s stomach grumbled with hunger. Draco stopped midsentence, embarrassed. Harry looked surprised for a second before asking Draco softly if he wanted to go to the Great Hall to grab some dinner.

“No, I’m fine.” Draco tried to keep on attaching the poster he was trying to put over his headboard without looking too nervous.

“Are you sure? I’m not trying to pressure but that sounded like you would want some food.” Draco was dying of embarrassment by now, his face blushing furiously as he tried to hide it behind his pale hair.

“Potter.” _I can’t call him Harry yet._ Draco used the slow voice that adults use to explain something to a toddler. “I won’t go into the Great Hall if I can avoid it, even if it means skipping some dinners.” _Weren’t you talking about not skipping meals anymore? Shhhh…_

“Why not? Oh, never mind I get it.” Harry had an understanding look that if it were plastered in anyone else’s face Draco would have tried to punch them. “I’ll go, do you want me to bring something for you?”

“Yes, please, whatever you bring is fine.”

Draco watched Harry storm out the room with a little smile in his lips. _Maybe I can do this, after all. If he’s so fucking adorable and understanding, how can I not? Stupid Potter._ Draco continued to put his things in order as he waited for Harry to return, his mood better than it was at lunch.

After what Draco thought was an eternity, he heard steps coming to the living room.

“I’m back!” Harry shouted from the other room.

As Harry entered the bedroom Draco turned to see him carrying a load of food in his arms.

“I wasn’t sure what do you like so I brought a little of everything.” Harry said as explanation for the banquet he was placing on Draco’s bed.

“Wow Potter, you really know how to sneak food out of the Hall, don’t you?” Draco exclaimed as he watched amazed the amount of food in his bed. “Shall we?”

He sat in the border of his bed as he made a gesture for Harry to sit with him.

“So, can I ask you something?” Harry inquired tentatively after a while, as if trying not to scare Draco.

“Sure, you can ask but I’ll decide to answer.” Draco said with a little laugh. _Are you flirting? Well, it wasn’t my intention… No, I don’t mind it’s just it’s so weird…_

“Well…” Harry looked unsure as he started to phrase his question. “What were you dreaming last night?”

The temperature in the room seemed to descend ten degrees as Draco let what he was eating.

“What do you mean?” _He doesn’t know, he can’t possibly know. He’s incompetent in Legillimens, for God’s sake!_

“You seemed to be having a nightmare, you know, thrashing around and making these little noises…” _Of course he fucking noticed. He’s fucking Potter. Fucking kind._

“I just was wondering what was that about?”

Draco stared at his trembling hands as he felt his appetite disappear.

“Nothing. It was just that, a nightmare. You know, the war and stuff.” _Don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask…_

“You want to talk about it?”

Draco shook his head, unable to look up and see what he intuited in Harry’s eyes as he felt his own eyes sting with tears barely contained.

“Ok, if you want to, you know I’ll be there ok?”

Draco nodded, not capable of restrain his eyes from pouring those stupid tears as he hear Harry offer something not even his family had given him. Support. Hope. Friendship. _But I don’t want to be his friend… It breaks my heart to try to be your friend… Because I want more of you, I want to be so much more to you than I can’t breathe when I’m with you._

Harry approached Draco inch by inch, getting closer to him until he was next to him and he put an arm over his shoulders.

“It’s ok, I’m sorry, ok? I shouldn’t have asked I’m sorry I’m sorry…” Harry’s voice was velvet and Draco was sobbing in his arms as he whispered apologies and they just sat there for a few minutes until Draco was better and Harry was just there but Draco didn’t told him to get away because he was enjoying the closeness so much and well, if he was going to hell at least he could enjoy the way to the abyss.

“Better?” Harry asked after a while.

“Uh-huh.” Draco sniffed for the last time.

They ate the rest of their dinner like that, Harry sat next to Draco in his bed, and Draco’s heart was breaking for the pain but at the same time beaming for being that close to Harry; and then there was only a little pumpkin pie left and Harry took it and broke it in half and gave one to Draco _with that fucking smile of his._

And when they finished eating and cleaning the mess they had done with the food ( _next time, Potter, I’ll make it sure to eat in your fucking bed and let’s see how you like it, fucking pig._ ) and settling in and Draco had put all his little knickknacks in their proper places and Harry had hanged his last poster of the Chudley Cannons ( _seriously, Potter?_ ) they realized that it was very late in the night and they should go to sleep. So they went to their respective beds and Draco whispered _nox_ to turn the lights off.

_Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha_

Draco listened to the children’s laughs as he tried to cover his ears. _Oh, yes, I’ve been here too. Too many times. Would it be of any use if I just gave up? If in just one dream I chose to oppose the Dark Lord and he killed me, would I stop dreaming of him? If I just let the children take me, would they leave me alone? Well, I guess I’ll never know… Even in my dreams I’m a coward… What relief is left for me then?_

He stood in the darkness with his hand on his ears. He was wearing his trademark black suit, and he could see nothing in front of him. The darkness, though, was a light kind of black, the kind one would think it exists in a room painted so fluidly that you can’t distinguish the corners, not the oppressive, invade-it-all kind of darkness that Draco thought was the space. He tilted his head pensively as he tried to guess if the laughs were still there. As he didn’t hear anything he uncovered his ears, just to find the same bright yet macabre laughs of little kids. _Well… what can I do? I’ll just go on with this._ Draco started walking in the dark, the sound of a drop falling in water and his steps the only things interrupting the now sporadic bursts of laugh.

_Draco, Draco, come play with us… come… hahahahahahahahahahaha come…_

_Why don’t you come with us, Draco? Come with us… we’ll play… hahahahaha all day long…_

Draco kept on walking to the source of the voices, from where he could now see a faint light coming.

_Draco… come play with us… hahaha Don’t you like us anymore, Draco? Why don’t you come to us, Draco? Play… with us… hahahaha_

He stepped into the light, discovering a patio brightly illuminated by the summer sun, the water from the fountain singing as the butterflies flew across the air. _I wish someone would wake me up._

“Draco, Draco, look what we found!”

Draco strode helplessly in the direction the voice came from, finding a little boy crouched beside a girl holding something, her back towards Draco.

“What did you found, darling?” _Why does no one wake me?_

The little girl turned slowly to reveal a brutally injured face. As Draco recoiled from the wondrous sight, the girl opened her hands and exposed an eye, semi rotten and looking like it had been taken from the ground. The cry in Draco’s throat died as he looked around to see everything in the garden wither and die, and the children’s clothes stain with blood as their skin opened with wounds and gashes.

“Don’t you like it, Draco?” The girl was talking with a million voices, fragments of stories that Draco knew too well. The fountain started spitting blood and the butterflies became ashes falling from the sky. _Somebody wake me, please!_

“It was from my father… but you know that, don’t you Draco?” The girl stared at him with her deep blue eyes, silently accusing him.

“After all,” the boy said in a singsong tone. “You were the one who did it.”

“Draco”

“Draco”

“Draco!”

“DRACO!”

Draco was sitting in his bed profusely sweating and panting, tears streaming down his face as he stared into pools of emerald. He didn’t know what time it was, all he knew was that for some reason Harry was shaking him by his shoulders, telling him that it was ok, that it was just a dream, that it couldn’t hurt him…

Draco crumbled into Harry’s arms as he sobbed uncontrollably, too hurt and shattered that he couldn’t talk for the time being. Harry’s hands trailed to his back, rubbing it comfortably as his sobs calmed and he wasn’t trembling so badly.

“Are you ok?” Harry leant back just enough to see Draco nodding as he gulped down a sob.

“You want to talk?” He shook his head.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” He shook his head again.

“I… _hic_ … I d-don’t want t-to… _hic_ … be b-broken anymore…” Draco said as a new wave of tears trailed down his cheeks.

“It’s ok, it’s ok…” Harry hugged him again, this time more firmly, as if trying to tell him he was there, that nothing would hurt him now.

“I’m going to go to sleep again, ok?” He started to climb down Draco’s bed but stopped when he felt Draco tugging at his shirt. He turned to see him looking down at his bedsheets.

“Yes?”

“Could you… c-couldyoupleasestaywithme?”

And Harry couldn’t just leave him there, not when he was looking so vulnerable and small.

“Sure”

So Harry made his way under the covers and hugged Draco, cradled his head as he thought of all the different ways in which he was too deep into this. After a while, Harry could hear the peaceful breathing Draco made now he was asleep, and he wondered if ever existed a better sedative than seeing this beautiful silver haired boy sleep.

He didn’t have any nightmares.


	5. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello yes I'm alive  
> Sorry for being dead for what? four months? So SORRY  
> School. Moving out. etc...  
> But here it is!  
> I want to slap them both. They're so stupid. Why can't they just be happy?  
> Ahem. If you like it, leave kudos and comments!  
> Enjoy!!

Draco knew he was in a very very bad situation before he opened his eyes. As he did, he found himself in an almost unbearable heat, which would have been acceptable if it wasn’t for the way it seemed to start where Harry’s arm was draped over him and travel down to pool in his stomach. He was also very conscious he was enjoying the situation a little too much to be confident that he would get out undamaged from it. Draco was relieved that Harry was still asleep, at least from the way he was breathing over his head, a little breeze ruffling his hair. He stared at the space for a minute, just relishing in the way Harry’s skin felt against him, the peaceful calmness of them sleeping together, the way he felt waking from a night without nightmares. Draco tried to get out of Harry’s embrace without waking him and when he succeeded he half ran to the bathroom. As he emptied his bowels, he started to realize what had happened the last night and how he had ended in a situation like that. When he was finished, he hastily took a shower, regretfully washing away Harry’s scent from his body. After Draco relieved and refreshed himself he walked out of the bathroom to find a very dishevelled Harry blinking sleepily as he ran a hand through an already ruffled hair while he reached to Draco’s side table for a pair of glasses that were not there. Harry looked a little confused by this but then understanding bloomed in his face as he acknowledged last night’s events. He stood and walked to his own side table and put on his glasses, turning to look ( _irresistibly_ ) at Draco.

“Hi.” _Of course, Draco, because that’s what you say to anyone in the morning._

“Hey.” _He’s not complaining. That’s because he’s an airknob. But he’s my airknob. He’s not your airknob, you stupid, he probably just sees you as the idiot broken roommate he’s just got. He said he’s trying to help. And you believed him? You’re dumber than I thought. I’m not! He’s good. Sure. Your problem, not mine. Of course it’s yours too. Oh, shut up. However, what do we do now? About what? I mean, do we just go on in our days as if nothing has changed? Nothing has changed. Yes it has! No. You just slept together, aghhh not like that, you just slept together because you had a nightmare, ok? Just go on if he says nothing. Ok…_

“So,” Draco started to say as he tore away from the bathroom’s doorframe, suddenly very aware of his almost complete lack of clothes. “We should get ready.”

“Yeah.” Harry was looking still not awake at all, blinking as he made a move toward the shower.

“Potter.” Draco forced himself to look at his eyes instead of staring at the tent in Harry’s pants. “You really should take a cold shower.”

“What?” As Draco rummaged through the closet he sensed Harry closing the bathroom’s door and pictured himself checking for what had he been talking about. He heard Harry take a hard breath and smiled to himself. _Well, I bet he didn’t expect that._ “Fuck.” Harry’s surprise was muffled by the door, but it was still loud enough for Draco to hear it. His smile turned to an evil smirk.

Draco put on some jeans and was trying to decide whether to wear a t-shirt or a shirt when Harry appeared at the door, all damp hair and residual mist from his shower which, Draco noticed, hadn’t been a cold one. He finally took the plain black shirt and started to button it up, watching Harry’s back muscles swiftly moving under the skin as he stretched to unhang his clothes from the closet racks.

Draco kept watching him as he laid his clothes on his untouched bed. When Harry motioned to unwrap the towel without complaints of Draco’s presence Draco turned his head away so fast that his neck snapped. With his face burning red and his back facing Harry, he started talking in an attempt to distract himself from the fact that his roommate was practically nude ( _and will be for all the rest of the mornings we wake in this room_ ) less than three feet apart from him.

“So do you think there will be scones for breakfast today?” Draco asked.

“Well I don’t know, have there been scones other days before? I have never noticed what’s for breakfast.” Draco shot a cautious look over his shoulder and having checked it was safe he turned around.

“That’s because you just gobble down anything that appears in front of you, Potter.”

Harry shot him an amused look at the evidence that Draco had been watching him before and let out a grave chuckle. Draco looked down embarrassed, a slight pink painting his cheeks.

_He’s beautiful._ Harry wasn’t surprised by this thought, having it constantly running in his head, though this was the very first time that it had been so clearly expressed.

“Let’s go.”

Harry had finished dressing and now he stood in front of Draco, oozing that intoxicating scent of his and expelling those “fuck me” vibes that Draco was trying very hard to ignore.

They walked side by side joking lightly like they were afraid of letting the other see how they truly were inside, afraid of scaring each other off. Draco started to mock Harry’s hair and he defended himself arguing that he couldn’t control it. After teasing him, Draco dared to extend his arm and actually touch his hair, a little surprised to find it was feathery soft instead of wiry, as he had imagined it.

“Ohhhhh, Potter, you have girly hair.” Draco exclaimed as he buried both his hands in Harry’s hair from the back. _So soft…_ “So soft and bright… What do you use, strawberry and mint?” _Though it doesn’t really smell like strawberry… It smells like you… Like woods and wind…_

“Shut up, Draco… And you can’t really talk about girly hair, can you? All that pretty silver mane you have been growing… Maybe I should start calling you Drakesha!” Harry had been laughing before and Draco’s face of horror only made him cackle as the taller boy dead stopped in the middle of the hallway.

“You little…” Draco started as he good-humouredly punched Harry in one shoulder, continuing to fake fight until they reached the doors of the Great Hall, where they took a breath while checking their clothes for any sign of disarray.

They opened the doors with a smile in their faces, though it didn’t last long on Draco’s as he rapidly scanned the room for any empty space. Harry saw the worry take over Draco’s features and started moving towards where he had seen Ron and Hermione.

“Draco, come here, I’ll present you to some friends.” Draco followed him hesitantly, pretty sure that this wouldn’t end well for him.

Harry sat in front of Ron and coughed for them to look at him.

“Hey guys… this is Draco, he’s a new friend and I want him to eat with us.”

Draco couldn’t help but to notice Ron’s disdainful stare, though he focused on Hermione, since the girl seemed to be more curious than angry.

“Hi…”

Draco sat beside Harry, flinching a little at Ron’s menacing air, which Harry seemed to purposefully ignore as he started eating ( _He really is an animal… Which shouldn’t turn you on as it does. Maybe, but you have to admit that he has a charm of his own, even when he has marmalade all over his face… Kinda makes you want to lick him, doesn’t it? You really have issues. Oh, sure, and the one who’s telling me that is my oh so normal second personality._ ), maybe waiting him to cool down.

“So, I’ve noted we have potions together, right?” Draco tried to talk about something easy, safe.

“Yes. I heard you made some really good Licroatan yesterday. I was wondering, no offense Harry, how did you manage to accomplish it with him as a partner?” Draco smiled a little at Granger’s joke, happily answering with a smirk towards Harry.

“Well, it’s true it was hard, but if you tell him slowly what you want him to do sometimes he understands you. I can lend you a dog training manual if you want to.” Harry flipped him off, his mouth too stuffed for him to talk.

Draco started to eat, this time more moderately compared to the last breakfast, in consideration of being in company of other people apart from Harry.

The breakfast passed by with a light conversation between Hermione and Draco, Harry gulping down incredible amounts of food and Ron scornfully playing with his food.

When the bell ringed Harry managed to swallow the chump of food he was chomping and stood.

“Let’s get going.”

“Yeah… you guys better get going, we’ll catch up with you in Slughorn’s.” Hermione motioned them to move and Draco obliged, walking fast to reach Harry.

“Well, now you can come to the Great Hall anytime you want.” Harry was walking more slowly now that Draco was with him.

He made an unsure sound, remembering Ron’s cold stare all through the meal.

“Anyway, you heard Granger, right? It seems that our potion was fine!” Draco tried to change the topic to more cheerful ways.

“Ha. Our potion? We both know you made the difficult part of it.”

“A potion is not only the most difficult part, it’s all the parts, and you made the disgusting part of it.”

“What?” Harry turned to look at Draco for some sign of joke, but his face was dead serious. At least until two seconds after, when he couldn’t resist and burst laughing.

“I’m just kidding you, Potter, it’s only that for me it’s bothersome to cut all the stuff in small pieces and you have a very steady pulse.” Draco tried to soften the joke with a praise for Harry, although he scolded himself for doing so. _If you’re going to joke with him at least keep it up, don’t drop it just because you think he’s offended. But… I don’t want to hurt him. I know, but what if he sees it and then uses it against us in the battlefield? What battlefield? Are you crazy? The war ended. Not for us. Don’t forget, we’ll always be cast outs._

“It’s fine. I wouldn’t be able to do anything else.”

They walked the rest of the way to the dungeons in a calm pace, dismissing the fact that they were running late and enjoying the loneliness of the hallways this allowed.

“Ah, Mister Malfoy, I see you have finally decided to join us.” Professor Slughorn tone was angry as Draco hurried to their table. “Good morning, Mister Potter.”

“Professor, that’s unfair.” Draco turned to see Harry in the middle of the way, facing Slughorn. _What is he doing? He can’t be serious. He can’t. Slughorn’s going to kill him. Well, obviously not, since he’s fucking Harry Potter, but he’s going to get punished for this. Well, what are you waiting for, then? What? Go. Do something. B-But what if it goes wrong? C’mon, he’s going to have it bad. Now help him._

“What?” Slughorn stared harshly at Harry, as unable to believe he had dared to reply to him.

“I said it’s unf---”

Draco was already there, cutting Harry midsentence while pulling him to their table and apologizing to Professor Slughorn.

“He didn’t mean it, Professor, you know, he’s just grumpy because he didn’t manage to sleep at all yesterday and now he’s cranky but please don’t mind him.”

Slughorn sternly watched them as Draco dragged Harry to their table.

When they were seated and Draco was sure Harry wasn’t going to shout, he uncovered his mouth.

“Why did you do that?” Harry looked angry, although Draco was pretty sure that he wasn’t angry with him but with the whole situation.

“You were going to get into trouble.” Draco rested his head in his hands, letting out a sigh of fatigue. “You know, Potter, you can’t just go around telling people when they are being unfair. Especially not teachers.”

“But it is wrong!”

“I’m not saying it isn’t but you can’t win this battle and the only thing you are going to get is to scrub some dirty cauldrons or something. So cool down, anyway it doesn’t affect you.”

“How can you say that!? It affects you! And you’re my friend, how can it not affect me too?”

Draco was a little touched by this, but he had to explain this to Harry.

“Look. I appreciate that you think it’s unfair, but the only thing you’ll do is to make things worse for me because he’ll think I tattletale and everyone hates a tattletale, ok?”

“Ok.” Harry didn’t look happy at all but Draco knew it was better that way.

“As I was saying before Mister Malfoy interrupted us, today we’re going to study another poison, this is the Skinner poison which, curiously, doesn’t kill the victim but turns them into wood. Now, the wood in which person turns changes from person to person. I must not remind you that the secondary effects of an incorrect proportion of the ingredients can be fatal for the subject. As this is an immediate effect and, if well done, not lethal poison you will test it in your partners. Now, to work.” Professor Slughorn seemed nastily satisfied with himself.

Again, Draco went to get the materials for the task assigned, but now Harry was at his heels with the excuse of “wanting to know what they were doing”. Draco was a little glad for this as they were able to pick first again but now he didn’t feel like a plague carrier.

They returned to their table and Draco started to work on the poison, explaining each step for Harry. When most of the work was done and the only thing left was to pour the holly tree powdered stems, Draco sat beside Harry and supervised his grinding.

“So,” Harry said, “did you sleep well last night?”

Draco almost fell off the bench from the surprise.

“W-W-What?”

“I’m just asking, did you sleep well last night?” Draco could almost swear that he saw a smirk in Harry’s face. “Because I didn’t have nightmares for the first night in a long time.”

Draco was blushing furiously at the memory of Harry’s arms warm around him, his strong scent enveloping him and his steady breathing lulling him into sleep.

“I-I-I-I don’t know w-what you’re t-t-t-talking about” Draco stammered as he turned to check on their cauldron’s fire temperature. _Really, because you need to check, after checking twice before so it wouldn’t over heat. Really. Shut up, he remembers. Of course he remembers, you idiot, he woke up with you in his arms. I WASN’T IN HIS ARMS!!!! Oh, yeah you weren’t you were just casually really close to his chest and he was just casually with his arms ALL OVER YOU!!! Ok, maybe I actually slept in his arms but what do I tell him now? Calm down. He said he didn’t have any nightmares, right? Well, you can tell him you too didn’t. Ok. Ok. Here we go._

“Actually, I slept very well too, I didn’t dream at all.” Draco turned to see Harry watching him sceptically amused.

“What?”

“No, nothing, nothing at all…” Harry continued to grind the stems.

“Well, give me that, it’s time to put it in.” Draco snatched the bowl from Harry’s hands and emptied it into the steaming cauldron.

“Hey, don’t be angry, I was joking.”

“What? I’m not angry, moron. I was just surprised.” _And nervous._

“How come? And what are you doing now?” Harry looked interested in what Draco was doing in the potion.

“You have to move it for ten minutes without letting it boil any other way and it’ll be ruined. Now, you do it.” Draco handed the spoon to Harry, who took it and started carelessly moving the poison.

“No, no, that’s wrong. Seriously Harry?” Draco blushed intensely as he covered his mouth. _You did not just say that. You didn’t call him Harry. Well yes, I did but what now? What do I do?_

Draco looked up to see Harry’s face just as red as his and him looking actually timid.

“Actually, I’d prefer that you called me Harry, if that’s ok with you.” ( _Fucking_ ) Harry said quietly, glancing anywhere but at Draco.

“Ok… Harry.” Draco answered, softly taking the spoon from Harry’s hand and returning to move the potion. They didn’t talk for the rest of the ten minutes and when the poison was ready Draco carefully poured a sample into a vial and scribbled their names in a label to paste it to the bottle. After doing this, he handed Harry their work, who put it in their table as if it was a bomb. Then they waited for the time to run out.

When time was up, Professor Slughorn asked for volunteers to being the first table to show their results and, unsurprisingly, Granger’s hand shot up. She and her partner, Weasley, went to the front with their vial. Granger was serene, though the red haired boy looked a tad nervous. When Granger drank a few drops of the poison she turned into what looked like a perfect replica of her carved into a block of cherry tree. Then Slughorn offered the bottle with the antidote to Weasley, who dipped his index finger in it and dabbed Hermione lips with it. Slowly, she started to recover, blinking and shaking her head a little. When she was fully herself, the class broke into applause. Slughorn watched, pleased with his star student last triumph. All partners continued to pass as they were seated in the room, so Draco and Harry were left for the last. Draco wasn’t worried about the test, he knew he had done properly the potion and it wouldn’t cause any problems. Harry, on the other hand, looked more nervous but Draco thought he knew why. Not knowing exactly what he had done nor how to know if the potion was well done, Harry’s fear was more for the unknown than for the poison. Draco, knowing this, took the vial to drink first but Harry stopped his hand in mid-air, taking the bottle from him to his utter surprise. He gulped once with eyes scrunched shut and waited. Draco saw as he turned into a wooden mannequin, oak by the looks of it. _Even now, he’s strong._ Draco thought, a little amused by the kind of tree he turned out to be. _Makes you wonder what will you be. Though there is no one who thinks a tree is bad. Everyone thinks trees are good and noble… So, what will I be? Maybe a rotten tree. Or a burned one. Or not even a tree. Maybe I’ll turn into a shrub._

After Harry had completed his transition into the plantae kingdom, Slughorn offered the antidote to Draco who, as he had seen everyone else, dipped his finger in it and stepped toward the Harry-shaped sculpture. Then he panicked. _What am I going to do now? Come on, you just have to touch his lips. Exactly! His lips! I’m going to die! No you’re not. They are just some lips. Are NOT. Well, no, they are HIS lips alright but he’s wood. He isn’t feeling anything. What if he does? I can’t remember if people under this poison do feel things. I think they do. So what am I going to do? You can’t leave him like that. Come on, just do it. Think it’s not him. This is just a mannequin. Come on. You can do it. That’s it._

Draco was shaking badly when he raised his hand to Harry’s face. He caressed lightly Harry’s lips and waited. Gradually, he saw as Harry started to breath and move a little. Then his eyes opened and Draco found himself staring into two abysmal pools of emerald. Harry recovered completely and smiled to Draco.

“Hi.” Draco said under his breath, noting that he was still too close to Harry, not having moved since he touched his lips.

“Hi.” Harry answered, looking like he was to stroke Draco’s cheek but then Draco remembered where they were and stepped back, motioning for Harry to give him the bottle. He drank the rest of the sample and felt like he was falling into sleep very rapidly, at the same time that a numbness took over him.

Draco, been focused on Harry as he had, didn’t hear the sigh of collective relief that the class let out when Harry had waken, but Harry did and it made him angry. First, because most of them didn’t even know him. Second, because even if they did know him, they didn’t know Draco. Third, they wouldn’t be worried for him. They didn’t even worry for most of their classmates! Harry was angry at the thought that the entire class considered Draco a threat. For god’s sake, the man couldn’t even take care of himself!

Anyway, Draco was a sculpture now. A beautiful, perfectly detailed sculpture carved in ash tree. For a moment Harry thought that he had never seen anything so gorgeous but then he remembered the way Draco had looked that sunrise, a few hours before he woke, sleeping safely between his arms with his face showing the most peaceful features ever. A slight blush crept to his cheeks when Slughorn poked him lightly in the arm with the antidote. He had forgotten where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. He had forgotten everything but the statue of the boy he loved in front of him. Harry took some antidote with his thumb and cupping his face with his hand, ran it over Draco’s lips. Then he saw how the silver haired boy started to become alive again, his eyelids fluttering as if he was dreaming and his features scrunching up. He gasped as if he were emerging from deep waters and opened his eyes. Those grey eyes that looked afraid until they met his gaze. The same eyes he had seen sparkle with fury, hate and resentment but also glow with a soft light until they looked like abysmal pitches of molten silver.

This time, though, Draco didn’t say hi, he just watched him, smiling until Harry removed his hand from Draco’s face. Then Slughorn gave orders for everyone to sit again as he was going to announce the grades from their Licroatans potions.

Draco’s mind drifted away from the monotone voice of Professor Slughorn as he dreamily started to wonder if he was going to die soon. After all, Harry was his friend now, he could eat in the Great Hall now and he thought he could be friends with Granger. Plus, he may enjoy the rest of the school year, having Harry as his potions partner and roommate. When he landed on reality again, Slughorn was saying Padma Patil and her partner’s grade.

“And finally, but not surprising, Mister Potter got a perfect grade!” Slughorn looked like he had already recovered from Harry’s insolence earlier. “However, Mister Malfoy seems to think he’s too good for team work and didn’t present a sample of his work. Consequently, he has no grade in this assignment and will have to do extra work.” Draco thought he saw an evil glint in Slughorn’s eyes as he gave his sentence. _Of course I’m not safe from pranks even though my partner is Potter. And by the looks of it, now even the teachers are involved. But what happened? I know I put my name on the sample. Harry knows too. But if he tries to fix this it’s going to get worse. What should I do?_ Before Draco had taken a decision, the bell rang and the students walked out of the classroom. Except Harry, who was heading to Slughorn’s desk with an aura of determination. Draco hurried after him and held him by the arm before he reached his destiny.

“What?” Harry scorned towards Draco. “Are you going to tell me this isn’t worth it? To let it go? That your grades are less important than mine? Or are you just afraid of speaking up?”

Draco tried to hide the pain that Harry’s stern words had caused him under a layer of coldness. “No. I was just going to ask you to let me deal with this. Those are my grades, after all.”

Harry knew he had fucked up so he just nodded silently and trailed behind Draco as he ambled to the desk.

“Professor,” Draco tried to pretend security and found it pretty easy thanks to the rage that Harry had caused in him. “my name was written in the same sample that Harry’s, we both made the potion.”

“Then how is it that in this vial there’s only one name?”

“Well, possibly someone has erased it.” Draco was losing his coolness rapidly.

“But why would someone do that, Mister Malfoy?” Now Draco was sure that Slughorn knew that was his sample too, he just loved to torture him too much to give up now.

“Well, you may have not noticed, but there are some students that do not appreciate me too much.”

“And why is that, Mister Malfoy?” Draco was so sick of the game they all played he was going to drop this, at least he had tried.

“Professor, he’s right.” Harry suddenly spoke after his silent observation.

“What did you say, Mister Potter?” Slughorn was clearly angry, a vein pulsing in his forhead.

“He’s right, Professor.” Harry stepped near the desk. “We both work on that potion and I myself wrote both our names in the vial.”

Slughorn let out a vexed sigh, obviously defeated by the Boy Who Lived.

“All right, Mister Potter. I’m going to let it go this time but if your partner wants a grade then he better make sure his name stays in its place.”

Harry’s gaze was colder than the icebergs as he replied.

“Why, thank you Professor. I’m sure this won’t happen again.” His voice reeked disdain as he walked calmly out of the room, as someone who knows has won. Draco followed closely as he didn’t want to stay alone with Slughorn.

When he was sure they wouldn’t be heard, Draco confronted Harry.

“Why did you do that?” Draco huffed angrily.

“Do what?” Potter replied calmly.

“Don’t play fool with me, Potter. Why did you interfere?”

“You were going to give up.”

“I wasn’t!” _Liar, liar, pants on fire._ “I was totally capable of winning that argument without your help!”

“Draco.” Fucking Potter took him by the shoulders firmly, making him look him in the eye. “I know you want to be strong but there are some battles you can’t win on your own. You think Slughorn was going to leave you alone after this? He doesn’t care if people bully you, he won’t move a fucking finger to help you!” Harry’s tone had increased as he talked. Now his voice was low, worried. “But now he knows I’m your friend. He won’t mess with you anymore.”

Draco blushed furiously and shoved him away to Harry’s surprise.

“Fuck you, Potter. I don’t need your help, I’m not a pathetic coward. I’m not willing to be your new charity case. If you want someone to protect then why don’t you go search a stupid girl that actually wants you? I told you once, I’m not your friend. I’ll never be.” Draco said this with such a livid look and composed tone that Harry was astonished. He didn’t come out of his daze until Draco turned and cholericly stomped away.

He stayed where he was, too flabbergasted to think about his classes. He had fucked up regally. He was such a stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Draco was terribly offended and he’d probably never talk to him again. What a fool had he been! What was he expecting, for Draco to smile and thank him? No way would anyone ever do that. And less than anyone Draco Malfoy. For fuck’s sake, the man had a pride! And an enormous one! Idiot, idiot, idiot! What was he going to do now? Well, there was nothing he could do right now. Maybe he would ask Hermione later.


	6. {INTERLUDE III: Hot baths and hugs}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi sorry for updating once every thousand years school (ib) is killing me  
> from this chapter on i'm not really betaed so sorry for mistakes.  
> also here things (kinda) go down if you know what i mean...

Draco was angry with Harry, so angry that he didn’t care about what he was doing. He walked to the one place he felt safe in. The old Slytherin common room, now used as dorms for the second years. He stormed through the door and ran to his secret place, a small room which door was hidden behind a tapestry. When he was inside, he reached for the window, sitting beside and distractedly observing the underwater sight, fishes swimming and algae dancing with the current.

Stupid fucking Potter. Stupid _stupid stupid. Why did you have to defend me? Why do you act as if I’m too weak, too little, too pathetic to need your help? Maybe because you are? I AM NOT! Then what was your breakdown the D-day? And when you couldn’t go in the Hall? What about all those skipped meals, and the way you haven’t had a day without a panic attack in ages? SHUT UP. No. I get that you’re angry and you do have the right to be angry but Harry was just trying to help. I DON’T CARE. HE’S STUPID. Oh, really? Are you sure he’s the stupid here? Because I’m pretty sure you are overreacting and being very unfair. Shut up. Who asked you? You’re having a rant, as one you I have the right to participate and I decide to do so in favour of Harry. Can you please try to understand him? He didn’t know. No, I don’t want to try to understand him. If, as you say, I’m having a rant, then I have all the sodding right to sodding stay mad at him. For how long? Are you going to keep whining about this the whole day? Where are you going to sleep, huh? Are you going to go back to our (why our) room? What are you going to do if he’s there? What are you going to say?_

Draco had stood up without noticing and, after finishing his inner debate and taking note of his surroundings, decided that the best course of action at the moment was going back to his (their) room and taking a bath. A hot, long bath where he could think better. And if fucking Potter was in the room, well, he could perfectly go fuck himself somewhere else.

 

Harry was pacing in the hallway, where Draco had left him. Why hadn’t he chased him? No, that wouldn’t have been wise. He knew he had royally fucked up. Why did he have to go and ruin it? It had been all going well, but no, let Harry Potter and his hero complex (now I’m sounding like Mione) go and do something stupid. But he was going to give up. Harry couldn’t let him. He knew how important was Potions for Draco. But did he really have to pull his influence like that? That had been reckless and stupid. No one would have liked it. Hermione would have hit him if she had been there. Now, what was he going to do? What would Hermione do now? Maybe he should just wait for Draco to calm down and then apologize. Yes, that was what he was going to do. In the meantime, he could as well go and take a stroll. Or maybe he should go to Mione? Why was he so fucking stupid?

In any case, he needed to drop his books in their room but when he turned to go he almost tripped on Draco’s books. The man had left them before hurrying away. Harry took them too, planning to leave them in Draco’s bed as he did so.

 

When he got there, however, he noticed slight changes in the room that meant that the silver haired boy he had feared and missed in his way was in there. _What should I do now? Do I speak to him? Do I act as if nothing had happened? Do I apologize?_ He could practically hear Mione telling him that sometimes people only wanted an apology, so he set for the last option. _But where is he?_ Harry had crossed the first chamber and now was standing in the middle of their bedroom and he couldn’t find Draco. He started to worry, he had seen clear signs of the other boy’s entrance but hadn’t seen him. What if he was wounded? What if someone had hurt him and he was dying? Harry started to frantically look around the room for clues, signals, anything that could tell him where was Draco when he finally turned to the bathroom door and found it ajar. He rushed into the room and almost fainted of relief when he saw the head of the guy lolling just above the water level. This guy. He debated if he should wake him up or let him be, especially with their relationship _(we don’t have a_ relationship _, strictly speaking) (we do, we are roommates. and friends. sometimes)_ state, but in the end Draco’s safety concerned him more than this stupid feud.

“Draco… Draco.” Harry took a step and kneeled in front of the tub.

“Draco.” No response.

He grasped Draco’s shoulder and moved it a bit. Draco. The pale white eyelashes fluttered and Harry stared. _How can he be so pretty?_

The younger boy opened his eyes and there was a moment before Harry saw recognition in the silver pools his irises were.

Draco frowned, “What do you want Potter? And why are you in the bathroom with me?”

Harry immediately retrieved his hand and took a step back. “I’m sorry, ok? I know you don’t like me meddling in your business and it was stupid of me to think otherwise. But I want to help. So tell me, how can I help?”

Draco couldn’t believe his ears. Did Harry Fucking Potter just apologized to him? To him, the Death Eater that killed Dumbledore? Maybe he was still dreaming? _That must be it. But we never have such nice dreams though… and whose is the fault of that? Ours, I guess… at least to some point. So, is this a dream? It must be. So we can do what we want?_ Whatever _we want?_

Draco’s lids closed again and Harry heard him mumble “Po— Harryyy, why are you heeere?”

_This man is still asleep. Good God, what do I do? I can’t leave him in the tub, he could drown his sorry ass… But do I take him out? But he has to be naked!!! Obviously he is naked, who would get in the bath with clothes?_

Harry was blushing as he put Draco’s arm around his neck, trying to avoid looking down. “Draco, come out, I’m gonna get you in bed.”

“Are you now, Harry? Are you taking me to bed?” Draco’s eyes were still closed but he was lifting his eyebrows in a way that suggested an evil glint if his eyes were open. They were in the bedroom now, and Harry walked with Malfoy to the space between the beds.

“And what are you going to do with these, hm, Harry?” Harry heard the sound of wet cloth against skin and couldn’t help but to look down. Draco was still wearing his boxers, he noted, a bit worried about the connotations of the boy getting in the tub with clothes.

“I guess you’re going to have to take them off…” _Yep, I’m define-fucking-tively dreaming. There is no fucking way Potter would ever say that, aside not to me. Well, I guess I can enjoy it while it lasts, can I not? Even if I’m a bit disappointed that he didn’t really actually apologize for what he did… and for this whole thing not being real._

“Why won’t you take care of that, Harry?” Harry blushed even more violently, if it was possible, and turned his head away.

“Did you drink anything Malfoy?”

 _Why is he calling me Malfoy now?_ Draco half opened his eyes and saw a blushing Potter holding a towel in his direction. _Well, doesn’t matter._ He took the towel and dried himself, replacing the wet underwear with the towel. He wobbled towards his closet and chose a clean pair of boxers and a comfy shirt. _Even if it’s a dream and I’m getting laid, I’d rather wear comfy clothes._ He went to his bed and lied down. When Harry didn’t come, he turned to see him.

“What are you doing?”

“Malfoy, are you really awake?” _Oh fuck._

Malfoy sat up and buried his face in his hands, now fully awake and embarrassed. “Ohhh my God. Ohhhhh my fucking God. Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.” _What do I do? How much did I say out loud? Did I say anything about getting laid? Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck fuck fuck._

“Anyways, I’ll say it again, so listen. I’m sorry for what I did. But I do care and want to help, so tell me how?”

Draco raised his blushing face from his hands and saw an embarrassed Harry looking away. _Why is he embarrassed? Anyways… it seems like he won’t comment on this… now you have to act your fucking part, you prat, be a fucking Malfoy._

“All right, all right, I forgive you, ok? Now can we end this conversation? I’m tired as fuck.” Draco flopped down in his bed, his back towards Harry. _But I don’t like being a Malfoy. It sucks. Stop whining, you ass. Whyyyy??? I’m so done with you, you know that, don’t you? How can you be done with me if I’m you? It’s called low self-esteem idiot. Whatever._

Harry stayed silent, still confused about the whole situation that had unfolded in front of him. _I really do not get you sometimes, you know?_

“Are you going to come here or are you willing to spend tonight on your own with the nightmares?” Draco was still facing the other way, but Harry could hear the pout in his voice.

“I’m going, just let me put on something more comfortable.”

Draco could hear Harry rummaging in his closet and felt his anger and embarrassment fade away. After all, stupid Potter ( _Harry_ ) had apologized. He sensed when Harry laid down beside him, the mattress sinking with his weight and making him lie on his back. _Oh, fuck it all._ Draco thought as he snug into Harry’s chest, humming low when he felt Harry’s arm hug his shoulders.

_I hope this lasts._

 

 

 

Draco was standing in a white… space? He didn’t have any other word to describe it, just an interminable extension of white not exactly surrounding him, since this was not oppressive, but rather expanding farther than his eyes showed him. He felt peace, a strange thing for him since his dreams were normally populated by the horrors of his past recombined in the monstrous ways his warped imagination deemed right.

This time however, it was just white. No noise, no smells, no nothing but the sensory peace Draco craved so _fucking_ much. He felt as if he could just stand there for the rest of the eternity and he would never be tired again. In here, he was just Draco, not Draco Malfoy, the Death Eater, the one who killed Dumbledore, the one responsible for so many deaths and so much sorrow.

He felt a little empty though. Yes, he was just himself, but there was no one else ( _he is not here_ ), no one with whom he could be himself ( _he should be here why is he not here?_ ) Draco turned, suddenly aware of the cold the white irradiated. He curled into himself, trying to maintain as much warmth as possible. His teeth started chattering and he couldn’t feel his fingertips anymore.

Then he felt it. First it wasn’t more than a whoosh of air, like a summer breeze. Then it was like the blanket his mother used to cover him when he came home after a day of playing in the snow. He turned to see what it was and there was _him._

Harry was holding a cover over Draco’s shoulders, moving his thumbs in calming circles just as he had done that day in front of the Great Hall. Draco couldn’t help but to shudder at the memory of that day, and all the other days that he spent with Harry as his _roommate? We are more than just that aren’t we? Then what, friend?_ He had been too closed, too curt to act like a friend of him but still he wanted, he longed to be not exactly friends, but something even closer, deeper.

Harry ( _dream Harry, remember you oaf, this is not real_ ) tightened his grip on his shoulders as a glint of worry shot through his eyes. Then he tentatively embraced the thin frame of Draco’s body, and Draco felt the last remnants of the cold fade away. He returned the hug, his hands wandering a little towards the lower back of the other boy ( _after all if this is a dream and i can do whatever i want, i want to get fucking laid. Fucking laid, seriously? Once more, shut up, you know what I mean)_ Harry hummed and gently pushed him back until he was laying back in a soft bed ( _where the fuck did this came from? Dream logic but why do you even care? We’re getting laid!_ ) and the background swiftly changed to resemble their room. Draco could still tell this was a dream, for there were little incongruences in the room, as the sky being crystal clear with two suns and the beds lacking their canopies.

_How can you still be thinking about this??? We are getting fucking laid by nonetheless than HARRY POTTER!!!_

Draco suddenly returned to his ( _dream_ ) senses when he felt Harry’s mouth at his neck. He bit back a moan and dug his fingers into Harry’s hair. _It’s so soft, so soft and ahhh_ … Draco lost his train of thought as Harry nibbled his earlobe.

He started mewling softly as the raven haired boy removed his shirt and traced paths down his chest. He could feel the heat pooling in his stomach as his hips rutted upwards. When Harry circled his nipple with his tongue Draco gasped, accidentally pulling Harry’s hair a bit harsher than he thought wise. Instead, Harry just moaned against his skin. _God fucking help me that’s the hottest noise on Earth._

Draco was getting a bit impatient and tried to press his groin against the other boy’s thigh but Harry held his hips down. _This fucking man wants me to beg. But it’s just a dream isn’t it? So who cares if you do?_ I _do. Oh, you do now, do you? Do you mind so much that you’re going to give up the opportunity to be fucking fucked by the Chosen One? Good point, I don’t._

Draco was keening and pulling Harry’s hair, he wanted him.

“Harry… Please, Harry…”

The moans escaping his lips couldn’t be less Malfoy, but he couldn’t care less either. He just wanted Harry, _now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i a tease?   
> yep, i am indeed  
> sorry, i still have a fuckton of work to do so next update is when it is???

**Author's Note:**

> Hi... This will probably have like, 5 chapters... It's my first fic, so don't be hard on me please. Yoroshiku!
> 
> Edit:   
> Hello. Well. As you have seen, the has more than five chapters. I'm planning on doing ten maybe? If school doesn't kill me before.  
> Anyway, if you like this two dorks, leave kudos and comments!  
> Enjoy!!


End file.
